Oooph. It has been a month of seemingly fairly random on-line and in-person purchases however by God have these items tickled the collective fancy of my Instagram followers. From a pressure-relieving seat-pad to a face contour wand that creates immediate cheekbones, listed here are the bits and items that folks have gone wild for.
I imply we should always clearly go in with the sexiest merchandise: this Gel Seat Cushion “for lengthy sitting” has a particular honeycomb design that helps to unfold load and relieve strain on the decrease again, hips, sciatic nerve and – crucially – on the previous fanjita. The undercarriage. Sure, mates, I purchased a seat pad particularly to cease my thrupenny bits from going numb when writing at my desk for lengthy intervals of time.
I can hear you all now, screaming away, “you shouldn’t be sitting for that lengthy at a time anyway!”. “My Apple Watch makes me stand up and do leaping jacks each twenty minutes!!”. “GET A STANDING DESK!!!”.
Calm yourselves. If I want to sit at my desk churning out phrases till my total fanny loses all feeling then I’ll. And the brand new gel seat cushion permits me to go even longer than earlier than. What an accolade to earn!
Jesting apart, the cushion is definitely sensible when you’ve got decrease again ache and discover each single workplace chair uncomfortable. It doesn’t make it really feel all gentle and squidgy, as if you’re sinking into a settee, it simply type of…helps. In a very forgiving manner. It additionally permits air circulation between arse and chair, which is useful, and you’ll choose up the cushion by its particular deal with (only a regular deal with, however I’m in QVC mode) and take it to make use of within the automotive or at The Globe theatre. (If you understand, you understand.)
I purchased mine from Amazon here* – it was £24.99
*denotes an ad-affiliate hyperlink. Because of this a small share is earned with each buy via the hyperlink.
Look, I do know that is subjective, however I’ve tried a lot of earplugs – I can nearly safely say most of them in the marketplace – and these are those which are nonetheless inside my ear come morning.
Most others are plucked out, blearily, at round 3am as a result of they’re so large that they’re about to burst via the wall of my ear canal, or they’re protruding an excessive amount of and stopping me from sleeping on my facet, or they’re too inflexible and giving me ear-burn.
Earlier than this specific sort of ear plug, the most effective I’d discovered have been the Alpine Sleep Tender (sure, I’ve tried Loop and all the opposite ones that ceaselessly pop up as solutions) as a result of the gentle silicone plugs have been simple to tug out and in (no rolling or twisting vital), have been sufficiently small for my dainty ear canals (fairly certain most ear plugs are made to suit giants) and shaped an excellent noise-seal that minimize out loud night breathing however nonetheless allowed excessive pitched noises to penetrate.
(Alarms, foxes mating, owls screeching.)
After attempting practically each sort of ear plug other than the bespoke ones the place it’s a must to have a mould made from your ear canal (I’m simply not that dedicated) the Alpine Sleep Tender have been the easiest. However then – then – alongside got here the Alpine SleepDeep!

These are oval and appear to simply match that bit extra snugly inside (you give them a very good further push along with your thumbnails and so they suction into place as if you’ve entered some type of outer house satellite tv for pc airlock) and so they additionally are available in two sizes. Which is essential. I like to recommend the small, until you’ve gotten a really massive head. Or massive ear canals.
As talked about, these are the one ear plugs I can put in at evening and get up nonetheless carrying within the morning. I feel that they’re fairly phenomenal.
I purchased mine here* – I purchased the combined pack with each sizes, however should you simply need “small” then go for the model labelled (confusingly) “50 pack”. That appears to be the small dimension by itself.
One thing of a cheat entry, as a result of I lined this wonderful vest high final week, however nonetheless some of the standard suggestions of the month. It is a gentle, beautifully-cut vest high that requires no underwear beneath it as a result of it has it inbuilt. I’m a convert.

You may read the full rave about this top here, or purchase the Uniqlo Ribbed Bra High, £19.90 here*
Some contouring on-line is an excessive sport, with folks altering their total bone construction and magically reshaping their noses by way of intelligent optical illusions. I can inform you that this seems spectacular on movie however completely unhinged when seen up shut in actual life, so don’t really feel as if you’re lacking a trick should you’ve not but lined your total face with stripes and squiggles of darkish brown paint and buffed all of it in to a doubtful end.
What I can counsel, in order for you the aforementioned “supermodel cheekbone chisel” is a fast swipe of the e.l.f. Magnificence Wand in Contour (I exploit medium/tan) immediately beneath your actual cheekbones after which a fast mud over with a fluffy brush to mix. The sponge applicator appears to use the color in a extra forgiving manner than a stick – much less waxy, simpler to buff in – and the shades are properly thought-out, non-orangey and stick round till you wash your face off.

It’s a great way to dip your toe into the sculpting world should you don’t wish to put money into an expensive contour product and I really like that the plastic tube packaging is properly light-weight – good for my on-the-go make-up bag.
I purchased mine at Boots and it’s additionally on-line here* – it prices £9 and is each bit nearly as good because the pricier merchandise it’s up in opposition to.
I’ll bore you with a narrative: I’ve some actually pretty Tiffany earrings. A gift, years in the past. Ten years? In all of that point I’ve tried and did not put on these diamond studs for various days at a time. The screw thread appears to simply tear up the insides of my piercing holes when I attempt to feed the posts via and I find yourself with sore, swollen lobes each time that take days to go down once more.

I made the chief choice to promote the earrings and purchase myself some “new” ones (really pre-loved, so new to me however to not the world) and this time I selected the usual “push on” backs. All properly and good, and my ears massively recognize them, the sleek posts simply gliding on via, however I’ve to say that the girl within the jewellers put the worry of God into me about dropping the earrings. She was all for the screw submit for safety.
I set to some severe analysis, which took me all of about eight minutes on the prepare residence from London, and got here throughout a possible resolution: Lox lockable earring backs.

These intelligent backs enable the submit of the earring to enter it, however then it locks in place to be able to’t slide the again off even should you apply Hulk Hogan ranges of power. There’s simply no budging it. Marvellous! To undo, you merely squeeze the prongs collectively (slightly fiddly however nothing too irritating) and off they slide.
Thus far, so excellent. I’ve been wanging round with the backs, taking them on and off a couple of hundred instances, nonetheless no signal of the LOX power depleting.

It’s nearly a tenner for 2 units of lockable backs, which make these probably the costliest small issues on the present market should you disregard MI5-level hidden spy cameras and nano-robots and the like, however by their very nature they need to be laborious to lose and so hopefully you’d solely have to purchase them as soon as for every pair of fancy earrings…
I purchased my LOX on Amazon here* – £9.99
I didn’t wish to self-promote (or did, however thought I’d depart it till the very finish!) however my most-purchased advice this month has really been my new ebook, How To not be a Supermodel. I can not inform you what number of messages I get on daily basis from individuals who have completed the ebook and really feel the necessity to inform me instantly how a lot they beloved it. Or from individuals who have simply began it and may’t put it down. Or who can’t cease laughing out loud in public.

Dozens and dozens of sensible, heart-warming messages and mini-reviews, usually with complete passages quoted again at me. It’s vastly pleasurable listening to how individuals are devouring it after which dropping the ebook to their family and friends as a result of they’ve banged on about it a lot!
When you haven’t but learn it (or listened – the audiobook is on the market on Audible and Spotify and all the ordinary locations) then you will discover it in your native bookshop or order on-line here*. I can promise you that should you even remotely like what you learn right here on Substack then you’ll love the ebook.
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