When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

At the start of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Common issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t a denying that sober curiosity has elevated not too long ago. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Right this moment we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re fascinated about a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we method ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private resolution, however in the event you’re any type of an everyday drinker (that means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the best way you’re feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other approach. For those who’re not ingesting in the course of the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her guide, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for at the very least 4 weeks offers clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely shouldn’t be potential whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you haven’t any concept how shitty you actually really feel if you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you’re feeling shitty. It normally takes just a few weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually will depend on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see in the event you might make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or have been you in search of actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you realize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is actually what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. For those who spend quite a lot of time bargaining with your self at any time when alcohol is concerned, which ends up in quite a lot of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you would possibly wish to take a step again.

You may not even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply grow to be a part of your inside chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol in the course of the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting have been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been consistently shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down each day, and that type of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You would possibly simply resolve that it’s not value it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I would not have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra conscious method to what I eat/drink,” what questions needs to be explored when fascinated about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the idea that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and practical, mannequin to make use of relating to speaking about alcohol is the concept of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t must hit any type of a all-time low earlier than you’ll be able to discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to resolve at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

For those who’re able to get sincere with the position alcohol performs in your life, I might counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our pals have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you may have options/suggestions for tips on how to make this a part of my way of life with my ingesting pals? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to search out new pals – haha. However, critically, if your folks really respect and assist you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly attempting to push you to begin ingesting once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, then you definately would possibly must rethink who you’re spending time with. It’s essential to work out for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve got, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your pal group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definately would possibly want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most fundamental sober individual round – and I’m pleased with ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing just a little extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Entire Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. For those who’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s type of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam